But Who's Counting
by JLynnB
Summary: It takes a lot of courage to ask a woman out. A season one snapshot.


Rene's birthday present.

Proof I can write something under a hundred thousand words! (o: *Lynn

xTBBTx

"Ok, I've decided. I'm going to ask Penny out," said Leonard, puffing out his chest. After receiving no response he turned to his roommate who was watching Star Trek. "I'm just going to march over there and knock on her door and ask her on a date."

Silence.

"So, uh, what do you think?" he asked, sounding less confident.

"Given your five previous attempts to work up the courage to ask Penny out resulted in naught I thought these statements were rhetorical," said Sheldon matter-of-factly.

Leonard frowned. "No they weren't rhetorical. And for your information those previous attempts were merely practice. The last thing I want to do is pull a Howard and say something stupid."

"Actually what Wolowitz says is often quite witty, from what I understand, although in the context in which it's given it comes out as an insult." He turned to Leonard. "Correct?"

"Correct."

Sheldon gave a curt nod as he returned to the television. He was getting the hang of social interaction. As the minutes ticked by he did his best to ignore Leonard's pacing as the shorter physicist muttered an occasional word or phrase under his breath.

"Leonard, my program," Sheldon warned.

"Sorry. Sorry." Leonard continued pacing in silence.

As the show ended the sound of keys jangling in the hallway followed by a lock turning made Leonard stop like a raccoon caught by a flashlight and his armpits flood with sweat. After a moment he headed towards the door.

"I'd wait if I were you," Sheldon said. Leonard turned to his friend, surprised Sheldon would take an interest in this social interaction. "If you wish to engage Penny without distraction wait two minutes before going over. Two minutes gives her enough time to get her shoes off and otherwise relax without allowing her the opportunity to engage in some form of activity."

"How do you know this?" Leonard asked, surprised and a little unnerved Sheldon was so attentive towards Penny.

"Leonard, as you know I like order. I also value my personal safety. Knowing at what precise time it's safe to engage Penny without fear of a punch to the throat is essential."

"Huh." Leonard checked his watch. "Two minutes," he said in a rather high-pitched tone. He cleared his throat. "Here I go." Leonard took a breath before he went into the hall.

Sheldon could hear Leonard's knock and the sounds of conversation. He checked his watch as the doorknob turned and Leonard entered the apartment.

"You've improved your time by seven seconds," said the lanky man.

"Now wasn't the time to bring up the topic. She'd just returned home from work and was…well…. I'll try again later," stammered Leonard as he crossed over to the hall. "I think I'll take a shower."

"Don't use up all the hot water. You know I haven't taken my evening shower," Sheldon reminded him.

He waited until the sounds of water ran in the washroom before Sheldon stole his way across the hall.

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny."

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny."

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny."

The door opened and Penny appeared in her Cheesecake Factory uniform although her hair was down.

"Why good evening, Sheldon," she said with a smirk. "Did I forget to separate the bacon from the cheese? The barbecue sauce container too full?"

He stopped to think. "No everything was satisfactory tonight. I'd have brought it to your attention otherwise," he assured her. "Anyways, if we're done with the chit-chat I'd like to get on to the purpose for my visit."

"Which is?"

A pause. "Tomorrow is Wednesday and Wednesday is Halo night. If you don't have plans you're welcome to join."

Penny's eyes narrowed. "Did Leonard tell you to invite me?"

Sheldon was surprised. "I assure you Penny this invitation is solely my own. You've proven to be an exceptional player and an excellent teammate."

"Why Sheldon, are you saying you like playing with me?" she teased.

A confused look came to his face. "I assumed I _had_."

She made to say something more but instead chose to smile. "Sure sweetie. Eightish, right?"

"Eight o'clock exactly. Please don't be late."

Penny gave a salute. "Yes sir! 'Night Sheldon."

"Goodnight Penny."

Alone in the hall he checked his watch. He'd improved his time by nine seconds.

Perhaps next time he'd stick to the original script.

xTBBTx


End file.
